I did...something!

So Aaron can finally stop bugging me ( and by "bug" I mean "urging me to do something necessary and creative/cathartic") because I made some new gift certificates for the store. Well, actually, I still want to make a couple other ones, and clear coat them all so they don't get life-blasted to shit, but anyway...
Cheap as shit acrylic, with cheap as shit brushes, on terrible 45s. Go!

Maxim Wins Again

So we have a subscription to Maxim at Sound It Out. We used to have a subscription to Blender, which was ok, but since they folded (they were just ok) we've been receiving their parent magazine- MAXIM.
The newest issue just got delivered and somewhere in it's brief time between Mail Lady's hand and trash bin, I saw this:


You read that right: "Brightly colored Fixies are great for impressing cute hipster girls, but the eight-speed Globe Haul is both practical and badass. It's aluminum fram has an integrated rack for carrying stuff you can't cram into a messenger bag."
Just in case anyone who rides fixed still felt any level of superiority.
I'm a little perplexed though. If fixed is the way to go if you're questing for "cute hipster girls", then what quarry does this particular cycle lend itself to? White women in knee socks, sports bras and plaid boxers? Does that not sound like hipster garb?
Anyway, this thing looks like shit and I'm wondering why they're presenting this setup as a new thing? That's an ugly commuter bike. A $600 ugly commuter bike.

Wytze's graduation project for Cannondale from Eelke D. on Vimeo.

Ridiculous Product Watch:
"The Dutchess, a new concept bike designed by Wytze van Mansum, a design student at the Delft University of Technology. According to a company statement, the bike was "designed for women keen to express their style amongst the fast paced and ever changing urban vibe.

What the fuck is that end-quote even supposed to meaaaaan?! Bike-purveyor lingo drives me insane. So anyway,"The Dutchess", how fucking cute is that. No mistaking who this one's for.
Read:"This bike is so aggressively dumb and unserviceable that it practically screams "Ride me to the market, woman, and wear something unreasable!"
Why does this thing not just come from the factory with a baby seat on it?
Alright, let's check this video:

-Hey this is exactly what I expected so far!
:05- Oh! Here she is. Urban, but not too ethnic. "Real", but not too real.
:13- Is weirdbike looking (longing?) for her, or did she just lean it against something without locking it at all and walk away. (in bitchin' heels, at that)
:24- Holy shit, she really is at a market! This is the cresting wave of innovation! I am on the edge of my seat!
:33- Give me those apples. To bake a pie. Because I am a woman on a woman's bike. Doing woman things.
- No lock at all. How did they manage to take all that time lapse footage without someone riding off.
:40- Produce baggin' as high art... Twist it up.
- Scope that toptube. Wait forget the toptube and think about how catastrophic it will be when she drops off a 4" curb and that seat tube Gumbys. (She's not wearing a helmet!)
-(I wonder how that'd look with a dayglo aero on the front...)
1:05- I assume this is just building the suspense for when she gets on the bike and her heel immediately entangles itself in the pedals and she veers into traffic. Leading to an epic "missed connection" on CL.
1:10- Oh well fuck me! It WAS locked the whole time! My erudite visage could not comprehend what I truly beheld! Oh and by locked I mean "Is it worth it to me to obtain this insane looking bike by yanking really hard on the handlebars?"
1:20- See. No basket. That's a problem. What will become of the apples?!
1:30- So basically when this breaks, you are totally fucked. (It looks so good though!) It's like when someone brings a Saab into the mom and pop Garage around the way, and they look at you like you just dragged a whale carcass in behind you.
-Someone has a case of the wobblies.
2:00- Shit, where are the apples!
2:30- I really love the "Gramma brings out the turkey" handlebar position.
3:00- Aw, I thought she was going to go for the top-tube seated posture there and totally bail.

Anyway, in summation: I don't care. Prove to me that that stupid drive setup actually works. Then explain how any reasonably sized human female is going to lug this monster up 15 flights of stairs and then store it in her closet sized apartment. Or, if it doesnt in fact weigh 200 lbs., then it must be carbon or something equally scary, especially considering the frame design.

I mean, I am not an expert by any stretch, and apparently this dude is a design graduate and blah blah blah, but I'm so sick of these unreasonable bikes masquerading as the best fucking idea ever. I have no problem with anyone turning modern bike design on its head, but it could at least be practical. What would you have here without the music and the girl and the snaphot of urban tweedom? You'd have...this thing. I'll pass.

TGR

So we've actually had at least two productive practices in a row now. Amazing. How fitting that we'll be losing our practice spot again, in true TIGER fashion. We are not a pampered band by any means. Other than that we never play out... Anyway, "Life Jam" and "We Fucked Up" have turned out nicely, Im looking forward to playing them live, also stoked about the new-old direction as far as songwriting. Way more fun.
I am approximately this stoked:
Originally uploaded by mckaig

Alright, I refuse to do the same as always and have my first post about how this is definitely the time I'm gonna actually stick with a blog. I don't care if I do or not. If I'm lucky, I will actually remember that I have it for more than a week and manage to put some interesting shit on here. Maybe.