Maxim Wins Again

So we have a subscription to Maxim at Sound It Out. We used to have a subscription to Blender, which was ok, but since they folded (they were just ok) we've been receiving their parent magazine- MAXIM.
The newest issue just got delivered and somewhere in it's brief time between Mail Lady's hand and trash bin, I saw this:


You read that right: "Brightly colored Fixies are great for impressing cute hipster girls, but the eight-speed Globe Haul is both practical and badass. It's aluminum fram has an integrated rack for carrying stuff you can't cram into a messenger bag."
Just in case anyone who rides fixed still felt any level of superiority.
I'm a little perplexed though. If fixed is the way to go if you're questing for "cute hipster girls", then what quarry does this particular cycle lend itself to? White women in knee socks, sports bras and plaid boxers? Does that not sound like hipster garb?
Anyway, this thing looks like shit and I'm wondering why they're presenting this setup as a new thing? That's an ugly commuter bike. A $600 ugly commuter bike.