Late Start

Been awhile. yup.
So we've got a show in Bay City tonight. With LIONHEART. Preceded immediately by TIGER. We should have billed the thing as the Animal Hour! or some shit. That would've ruled. Josh can't leave til 6 because of his crazy Emergency Radio Distress Class, so that's gonna rule. Long fuckin night, but it should be marginally fun at least. Joe's new punk band is playing, I'm stoked to see that shit. And since Josh made such a reckless life choice in becoming straight edge, he has by default burdened  himself with the responsibilities of an all-time designated driver. Lolz.
It's going to be weird playing as many shows as we are and not PRACTICING. But I guess that's kind of how it's always been. I don't think our "artistic integrity" is going to suffer or anything.

We're trying to piece together how the fuck we should go about selling this store. The plan for now is to make up an inventory of everything a buyer would recieve (cds, lps, shelves, etc) and post it online. Maybe on Chicago and downstate CraigsLists, and if anyone reasonable seeming contacts us we can get into the for real shit. The thought of maybe actually selling a business for a decent profit is very exciting and mover/shaker seeming, but it's incredibly fucking daunting. Mostly daunting. Any transaction that requires a lawyer immediately sends up a million red flags in my little, midwastern psyche.

I'm feeling more and more interested in actually learning how to paint. Credit goes to Aaron, since I've been painting records for the store, maybe I've got the itch now. This also seems fucking daunting, but hey, I dont really have anything to lose but pride. And honestly, pride? Sounds ridiculous in the context of my life, so I should probably refrain from using that word in general.

I've had this idea bouncing around my head for a graphic novel-type-whatever for a while. I think every creative type has his or her magnum opus bouncing around constantly in their head. The idea, or beginnings of an idea, that seems really really good. But it also seems way beyond my ability so I'm trying to chip away at the thing from the edges. Jotting down dozens of ideas that may or may not turn into anything usable. It sucks because I really want to talk about all of these things, but I don't want to subject anyone close to my ramblings. So I suppose I'll start jotting things down here, since I don't really plan on anyone reading this anyway.

I'm fascinated by the ugly side of Americana which is a really cheesy statement to make, I know, but I am no wordsmith (tack that one onto my ever-growing list of impediments when it comes to this project) Anyway, the whole thing kind of sprang from my discovery of Carl Panzram, who was a misanthropic wreck on a massive scale. A runaway child, burglar, and teenage alcoholic, born to Prussian immigrants in Minnesota, he described himself as "rage personified". Basically this guy was a wraith, a force against civilization. Maybe what fascinates me the most is that he didn't have any grandiose rituals, or fit any other archetypes of what we think of as a serial killer today. Some people were shot, some beaten. Strangely I don't know of any women he killed, but men and young boys seemed to be a target. According to Panzram, he first began killing sailors on shore leave and dumping them in the harbor. When forced to run, at one point to Africa, he bludgeoned at least one young boy, hired a boat with a crew so he could murder them and feed them to the crocodiles. He sodomized the men he robbed, by his own account not as a sexual act, but one of pure humiliation and domination. He seemed to give no mind to possibly getting caught, and never took any great pains, beside just moving on, to evade capture. Again, I don't respect or admire any aspect of this mans life, but as a sheer force of nature, I'm fascinated by his story.
Here's the money quote: "In my lifetime I have murdered 21 human beings, I have committed thousands of burglaries, robberies, larcenies, arsons and last but not least I have committed sodomy on more than 1,000 male human beings. For all these things I am not in the least bit sorry."

That's what set off my imagination, I suppose, the thought of this guy not as just another fucked up violent person in American history, but as some kind of warped equalizer, brought forth by god or whatever supernatural shit you're into. So that's where I got this shell of an idea to use this character juxtaposed against someone who is, by society and most everyone else, a Great Man. An ubermensch, if you will. I've probably just been watching too much Mad Men, but Im into this idea of the massive human toll that these supposedly totally independent demigods require as a framework for their ascent. This wouldnt be a hero/antihero storyline, it would be revered-antihero/reviled-antihero. I wouldnt want to pit these two directly against one another, but rather have them drift in and out of eachothers stories in little ways, before probably destroying one another, I assume. I'm toying around with Mr. Hero being some social climber type, possibly a cop or politician, maybe a former cop turned politician. I won't even get into the actual main character yet, who will probably be a child. I should probably read Preacher again for a little tutorial in how to write a badass epic.
More to come, later?